It has been said that the best things come to those who wait. I’m finding that sometimes the gifts come 30 years later: I just got a note from one of my former students!
Thirty some years ago I was a bright eyed, dark haired exuberant optimist who could not WAIT to be a teacher. I knew since I was in first grade that this is what I would do and it seemed like an eternity until I could actually fulfill the dream. When I graduated from college there was a glut of teachers and very few jobs. My parents and other worried adults tentatively asked me what I was going to do. “Get a teaching job!” was my reply. I was confident that there was one out there for me, regardless of where I had to move and how long it would take. I did a lot of substituting and waitressing until the job came through, but as expected, it did. I was finally on my path!
A new elementary school had opened in Lapeer, Michigan and I was hired to teach a combination 3rd and 4th grade. I can still feel that sense of pride and excitement in setting up my classroom for the first time. The only issue was the classroom itself. Following the best of educational intentions, one wing of the school had been designed to accommodate the latest teaching trend: open classrooms. The theory behind it was that by eliminating physical walls, it encouraged and enabled children to move freely to the areas in the building where the most level-appropriate training for them was available. Great idea, bad execution. Basically what was done was to build a traditional school wing and just don’t install any walls. You can imagine the noise issues and chaos created by having 6 classrooms of 8-12 year olds all able to hear and see each other at all times. I believe it was about day 2 of the school year when the portable chalk boards came rolling in to create at least visual barriers.
In addition to the physical location challenges that year, I also was “gifted” with a class of 29 children with no aide. And being the rookie, I also was allowed to experience all those children the other 3rd grade teacher didn’t want to handle. I was up for the challenge and loved each unique personality – and believe me we had them! I spent many hours coaxing Superman off the desk, the shy one out from under the table and holding the nervous ones until they were brave enough to go to gym class. Somewhere in there I must have taught them something too – or at least tried to. It was fun and draining and exasperating at times and I wouldn’t trade a minute of it.
I left the elementary classroom 4 years later feeling absolutely wiped out. It was one of the more discouraging times in my life. I had known I was a teacher and yet was physically making myself sick from the job. It was just too much for me and I left the education world for a summer job in the corporate one and never went back. Even though I was out of education, I still considered myself a teacher, resulting in a big mismatch in my self-concept and a feeling that somehow I had stepped away from my purpose in life.
Years passed and I left the corporate world for the world of enterpreneurship. I was giving workshops I’d created on how to find balance in your life – a topic I’d learned about the hard way- and invariably at the end a few of the participants would come up to me and thank me, telling me that what I had presented was invaluable to them. It was probably after about the 3rd time that this happened that it hit me: I’m teaching. I had had it set in my mind for so long that being a teacher meant having a classroom of children and had shut out any other possibilities of what that meant. It was a spiritual awakening of sorts to realize that yes, I am on my path afterall.
It is so easy to go through my day without giving myself any credit for what I do or what I have done. I take it for granted that I’ll use my skills and abilities and am actually quite harsh on myself when I don’t feel I’ve done a particular job to the best of my ability. After leaving teaching, I harbored some lingering thoughts that although I think I did the best that I could at the time, it was perhaps not enough.
And then I got a note from JoEllen.
How she found found me I am not sure but yesterday there in my inbox was a brief note asking me if I was the MacMeekin who used to teach 3rd grade. I immediately recognized the name and replied. She went on to say that she remembered me and told me I was the BEST teacher. I think I still have tucked away in some storage box those same words written in a 3rd grade girl’s scrawl on a handcrafted card complete with hearts and rainbows and flowers. I know that they are forever written in my heart. If I ever had any doubts that I am on the right path, I certainly don’t now. What a beautiful gift, 30 years later!
