It started with a whisper and progressed to a proverbial knock on head.  There had been many times in my career where I felt out of alignment with what I was doing but was able to push that feeling under the protective layers where I shoved most of my feelings.  It was harder to ignore when the competitive sales deal I had worked so hard on for a year – and won – quickly unraveled as the company couldn’t produce what I had promised and I was left with more than just egg on my face.  It rapped harder still when I was shuttled aside once the formally dormant account I brought to life suddenly had the potential of a gold mine.  And it was a complete slap to the face when acknowledgment  of my success was relegated to a passing mention, in parenthesis, in what was otherwise a kudos letter to my boss.  The Universe had gotten my attention finally and I realized it was time for me to finally listen.

Taking that first step away from a life lived solely to fit in was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  I envisioned it as if I was walking blindly off a cliff, falling a bit, and then finding out that there was a trampoline at the bottom that propelled me safely back up.   One layer peeled away…

There were a series of other “growth opportunities” on my path over the next few years and each time I learned how to hear that inner truth speaking and gained more courage to actually trust and follow it.  And then there was Virginia’s bracelet.

I had enrolled in a coaching training school and learned even more about how to peel back the layers.  Time was spent role playing client situations and examining feelings, something completely foreign to me not that long before.  The class was comprised of persons coming from a wide berth of background experiences.  There were the expected therapists and counselors, but also many corporate refugees and many kind-hearted souls looking for a way to make a difference.  And then there was Virginia.  Virginia was a big energy person with a laugh to match it.  She was a consummate free spirit:  an artist at heart who did floral arranging and sculpting in her barn in upstate New York.  She wore flowing clothes and indeed wore life like a loose garment.  I was totally captured by her ability to be so carefree about what others thought about her.  Virginia was Virginia and if you didn’t like it, oh well.

One day we were sitting at a coffee shop on 7th Avenue and as Virginia was telling us some delightful tale, her silver charm bracelets were jingling in accompaniment.  I loved their playfulness and told her so.  “Here, take one,” she said and immediately took it off and sent it my way.  I quickly protested until she said “They’re from the Dollar Store – don’t worry about it!”  I cautiously put it on and couldn’t help but smile.  This simple little bracelet was more me than any corporate suit had ever been.  It was at that moment that I decided that I would buy no more clothes unless it went with the bracelet.

I still have that bracelet and although I don’t wear it as often, it remains a vibrant reminder of a real transition point in my life.  With the snap of its elastic band, I had given myself permission to be the creative soul I had long ago set aside.  Today as I was taping a television show with a colleague, I shared the story of my “reawakening”.  Virginia’s bracelets were somewhere I’m sure, jingling in celebration.

 I was at a conference for women business leaders a couple of weeks ago listening to some very successful and respected women business owners talking about how to weather this economic storm.  It must have been about a third of the way into the day when that little voice inside my head suddenly woke up and said “You mean this isn’t just happening to me?!”  Now I consider myself to be an intelligent woman with a relatively global perspective on life but for some reason I was taking the sudden economic downturn personally.  As if the forces conspired when they saw I was starting a business and said “Ah, let’s see how much she can really take!”   

It makes me wonder what else I do that is wrapped up in that “it’s all about me” thinking.  Not that I’m asking for those who know me well to suddenly rush forward with substantiating evidence!  And unfortunately I don’t think I’m alone in this phenomenon.   In speaking of the economy, I have witnessed it on a regional basis over the past two years, where friends of mine in Michigan have been suffering for at least that long with what we here on the East Coast are just now experiencing.  I know people here that would look at news reports of economic struggles quizzically, as if it were happening on another continent, not within our own country.  Look at the issues of poverty or homelessness:  unless it is happening directly to you, it is difficult to grasp the global effect.    

On the other side of that coin, whatever happens to one affects the whole, even when it is good.  We tend to focus on the negative, but what about the positive trends?  The Olympics are a great example.  One person works very hard and achieves a goal and the country celebrates and shares in the pride and achievement.  There are millions of little “wins” happening all over the world daily and we can be a part of that celebration as well.  Or we can choose to focus on the losses and revel in our victimhood.   

I have seen these times become increasingly stressful and difficult for substantial numbers of people.  I feel the fear that is oozing around us, eager to gain a foothold.  And I have found myself sliding down that slippery slope into despair and gloom.   

But I have also seen that there is a reawakening of the creative spirit.  From the ashes I have seen amazing strength and ingenious solutions arise.  I am feeling an energy that is gaining momentum, a shift from self-reliance to holding out your hand and pulling each other up.  I have been infused with hope again and the prospect that although the road may be rocky, we’re still walking in the right direction.   

At this time of year when we reflect on all that we have and that for which we are grateful, the realization that it is not all about me is one to rank high on my list.  To realize I am part of something much bigger and that together we have incredible resources to pull us through is indeed a blessing.  I am grateful to all of you who in your own way have pulled me up.  May your path be full of extended hands as well.