Just when i think I am out of things to write about, I get a package from my mom. Her note says she was sorting through papers and thought I might enjoy these.  Of course I assume it will be the usual assortment of comics pertaining to family and teenagers, an article from Dear Abby about some remotely relateable incident, or the ever present obituaries of past neighbors long forgotten.  Instead, out come four envelopes: one from the Congress of the US, one from the Vice President, one from the White House and one from the Office of the President of my alma mater.  She now has my attention.  Or more aptly, I am holding my breath.

You must know both my hometown and my mother to understand my sudden case of becoming unnerved.  I grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan – heartland of the USA.  A great place to raise a family.  Or as we called it as teens, “Bland Rapids”.  Our local Representative in Congress was Gerald Ford.  A very nice man – a trait frequently ascribed to persons of that region.  However, even if as a kid I was never impressed with him.  You’d just see him everywhere.  Big deal.  I even tried to ignore him once in 8th grade when my girlfriend and I were gathering “Nixon’s the One” campaign buttons for a class project and he was trying to chat with us.  There goes Jerry being Jerry!

OK, so you’ve got the picture on my surroundings.  My mom:  well, let’s just put it this way.  There was this kid in my class, Scott Stoll.  He was always getting in trouble.  One day he’s throwing sticks at me – a normal day, basically – and my mom sees him.  So she gets out of the car, goes over and grabs him and tells him she had better not see him EVER do that again.  He later confessed to me at a class reunion that he had wanted to ask me out in high school but was too afraid of my mom.  Yes, she was that powerful.

My mom also had that effect with other people and organizations.  She was not afraid to speak her mind and was a tireless writer to let companies know exactly how she felt.  To her credit, she wrote both letter of congratulations and letters of complaint.  But you always knew where you stood.    And evidently even the President of the United States had an idea on that as well.

The first envelope I opened was a hand signed letter from Jerry Ford (of course…boh-ring!) when he was in the House.  It was something about agreeing with her stance on the Democrats position on the Today show and agreeing with her that Agnew is “great”.  Sigh.

The next was from Jerry again, now VP.  Now what was that about Agnew?……   Anyway, this one was agreeing with her support for the President and that yes, he does deserve high commendation for his work.   An even deeper sigh.

Next was a form note from the President himself.  The honorable Richard Nixon.  Thanking her for her support of efforts towards peace in Vietnam.  What can I say?

But the last one….  This was a note from the President of the University I was attending as a freshman, thanking me for her nice note about me and that yes, he would look into that Geography professor.

WHAT?!

My mother was writing to the President of the University because I had some problem with a professor????   Isn’t there some statute of limitations regarding parental humiliation?

As I look at these envelopes now, it is a toss up which one is worse:  my mother supporting Agnew, my mother supporting Nixon, or my mother supporting me.  I guess Scott Stoll was smarter than I thought.