I took myself to the movies today to see “It’s Complicated”.  What a good decision.  Actually it wasn’t so much about the movie, although I did enjoy it, but that I trusted my gut decision on it.  I had wanted to see it since seeing the previews and, being a fan of 4 of the major characters, I figured it was a sure bet.  My 14 year old daughter was also wanting to go, as “Jim” from The Office is in it and we are big Office fans.  I just had a feeling it wasn’t quite right for her.  Then I toyed with the idea of taking my fiance, but as we have never gone to the movies together in over 2 years, I figured a “chick flick” was not going to be a big draw for him.  It would have been a good girlfriend movie, but everyone was busy.  So I went alone, and I am glad I did!

Perhaps it is the time of year or time of life, but I think I cried on and off throughout the whole thing.  The movie hit more than a couple of my buttons.  And anytime they are showing family….well, that does it.  I realized this week as I was out for dinner with my fiance’s daughter, sister, and brother-in-law that I am a sucker for family.  There is something about people who know you your whole life, know all your foibles and successes, and still want to be around you.  Granted, not all families get along and not everything is nice and pretty all the time, but there are those slivers in time when the oneness of family shines through and it is to me a truly blessed and sacred time.

My family is far flung but in the past year we’ve made great strides in reconnecting.  Facebook has allowed me to connect with European relatives, to start/restart a relationship with a cousin’s daughter, and to get closer to my sister.  And my Mom and Dad actually got cell phones for Christmas (they still have a rotary phone in the basement).  Who knows where this will lead??

My kids are on their way home now from a vacation with Dad.  We’re planning a “pre-celebratory” dinner tonight before my oldest heads off in the morning to attend the Rose Bowl (Go Ducks!)  We’ll share a meal and I am sure lots of laughs.  I just hope I got all my crying out of the way…

I haven’t had Thanksgiving dinner with my parents, sisters and extended family for a very long time.  The 13 hour drive is just too much for either side for a long weekend and as my little family grew, we started creating our own traditions.  But I always got a twinge of nostalgia when I’d call home to wish them a happy Thanksgiving.  As the phone was being passed around the table from person to person, I’d hear the laughter and could imagine the warmth and easiness of our family gatherings.  By the time I’d spoken with the last relative, I’d be feeling rather sad and wishing I was there.

Things this year were totally different and yet I never felt so at home.  To begin with, we had Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving eve.  I highly recommend this practice, as it gives you the entire day on the actual holiday just to really relax and revel in gratitude.  Next, we had blended families – me and 2 of my kids with my fiance and his daughter.  My oldest stayed on the west coast with his college friend, already beginning the holiday separation process.  And even more shockingly different, my turkey was done to a golden brown and ON TIME!  In the 20 -some years I’ve been doing my own Thanksgiving, I have NEVER had a turkey done on time.  Last year it was not only not done on time, it was questionably done at all.  It was a real treat to taste turkey that tasted like turkey with no lingering fear of food poisoning!

As tradition dictates, I called home with a cheery “Happy Thanksgiving!” and my mom said “Lynn?”  Really?  My mom thought I sounded like my cousin Lynn?  This is my cousin with the strongest Michigan accent.  I guess my transformation back to a Michigander is more advanced than I thought! (see my blog “Unleashing my Inner Michigander“).  Once we had established that I was really her first born (and undoubtedly favorite) child, we chatted a minute before she handed the phone over to my father, a man of few words.  The conversation was about the University of Oregon football team (Go Ducks!) and then how he needed to get off the phone because my middle sister was lost trying to find my youngest sister’s new house and he needed to be available if she called for further instructions.  Happy Thanksgiving!

You would think that this minimal exchange would make me sadder than the usual ones, but for some reason it was just fine.  As I looked at my table, handcrafted by my great-great-great grandfather, I realized that I had brought together elements from the past and present into a beautiful moment in time.  It was adorned with a tablecloth from my Grandmother, dishes from my Aunt, glasses from my Mother, and food that was a combination of recipes from the past and new ones from the next chapter of my life.  They fit together like they had always been there.  I didn’t need to be physically with my all people in my family; they were here with me, sharing the loving moments of the day.

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite days of the year: the food, the family, the free-flowing gratitude.  This year it also became a time of acceptance and peace.