Life is a series of stepping stones, taking me on an interesting and unpredictable journey.  Well, that’s how I look at it when I am in a good space.  When my world is a little darker it seems like I’ve strayed off a path and found myself hopelessly lost in the woods.  Today I’m able to see how, once again, I’ve been given even more life experiences from which I can pull in order to empathize with others.  The latest is the feeling of not having any clue which way to turn or where you want to go – and how to get out of it.

I’ve worked with several clients over the years in this position, who just are stuck.  They know they don’t like where they are but don’t know either how to change and/or where to go.  I always felt I understood their dilemma but really, if I had to be honest, I was always that person who knew what she wanted to do and did it since I was a little kid.  So evidently the Universe felt it might be good for me to experience this first-hand!  I’m here to say, it ain’t a pretty feeling!

I’m a believer that thoughts influence actions, so I knew the first place to start was with my thoughts.  But what was I to think if I had no idea what I wanted or where to go?  A very frustrating situation!  I realized I had to take a step back even further from my usual “figure it out” mode, and learn to be content with the mantra “I am open to opportunities that come in my path”.  And I found the key word was “open”.  After a period of time of negative thoughts and energy, I found myself closing down in a protective manner.  So, just being willing to be open was a big first step for me.

So one day, as usual, deep in my thoughts and trying to figure out my life, I run into a woman I’ve known for years and have a pleasant conversation about her business.  She tells me about how great it’s going and how she’s thinking of expanding the product line.  How exciting for her, I think, wishing that I could be in her shoes and be excited about something.  And she goes on to tell me that she is thinking of adding a business development person to help her with this new area and if I ever knew of anyone, to let her know.  Of course, I answer, always willing to be of service.  When she leaves, I immediately go into processing mode, trying to figure out who would be good for her.  And then, somewhere deep inside of me, comes a little voice saying “What about you?”  It startled me and stopped me from my ruminations.  What about me?  Could this be an opportunity for me?  I had to remember the mantra I had been putting out there daily and if nothing else, I owed it to myself to check it out further.

Long story short, I started my new job yesterday and it feels SO right!  It’s a wonderful group of people in a wonderful environment and I am thrilled!

Nice when the teacher gets the lesson…

When I was in my early 20s I had a lapel button that said “My life is a soap opera”.  It was more of a declarative statement than a conversation starter.  I now can see how I used the constant drama as a wonderful distraction from anything that really mattered to me.  But at the time it was exhilaration and pain on a daily basis, a roller coaster of emotions and intriguing situations. Life these days is pretty mundane compared to then.  Thank goodness.

During the moments that I could rise above the insanity and oversee the situation at hand, I would merely shake my head and say “God must have something really interesting in mind for me to have all these experiences.”  I figured that there was a reason for each encounter and if nothing else, it gave me the ability to relate to a lot of people in a lot of different life situations.

I have found that in many ways this was actually foretelling of my current vocation.  My varied and colorful past has allowed me to be far more empathetic towards others because in a lot of cases I’ve literally been there, done that.  However I also have another life situation which, when coupled with this empathy, can come off as perhaps not so helpful.  Ask my sisters:  you see, I’m the oldest.  I am a big sister extraordinaire.  I believe the word “bossy” has been used to describe me.  From my vantage point it looks like the best of intentions:  I have ALL this experience and I am here to help!  If someone tells me their tale of woe, not only will I probably have one to match it, but I’ll share it with you AND tell you what you should do about it – based on my experience , mind you.

I never really understood how annoying and totally UN-helpful this can be until I saw it reflected in my oldest son’s behavior.  I believe he has me beat in the bossy category though, as he really doesn’t hold back at ALL with his opinions.  I at least still had that need for everyone to like me so it was tempered a bit.  But regardless of the degree of bossiness, I was horrified to witness this mirror being held up to me when I witnessed his behavior with others, particularly his siblings.  I believe I started immediately saying I’m sorry to my siblings soon after and still feel a twinge of guilt whenever we meet.

I still believe that the empathy I have for others as a result of my experiences is a very positive outcome and I work hard to utilize it in ways that benefit the other person, not me.  At times I find myself literally biting my tongue to stop myself from chiming in with “OH I know JUST what you mean because I….”  Although come to think of it, just this morning I did have to chime in with how I never had a full night’s sleep for 10 years when my kids were small today when a colleague was talking about her kids.  Well, I guess there’s always tomorrow to start again…