Gray is Good Enough
Yesterday’s snow was just perfect. It drifted softly down and sugar-coated the trees, somehow avoiding the street. As I drove through the wintery wonderland, I was awed by the majesty of the scenery. What would make it even better, I thought, was a crystal blue sky.
Today the sky was crystal blue and the sun was reflecting wildly off that new carpet of white snow. It made you shield your eyes as soon as you stepped outside. “If only it wasn’t so bright” was the thought running through my head.
Now as I look out my window I see that the usual gray clouds have taken over that blindingly blue sky. As the thought “Oh, if only the blue sky was back” came drifting into my consciousness I finally saw the absurdity of my thoughts. I suffer from a perpetual need for perfection and for “more”. The concept of “good enough” is nearly a foreign thought to me. If I am like this with the scenery around me, you can only imagine how I am with myself! And my poor children! It’s a constant balancing act in learning how to acknowledge the positive and encourage growth and expansion without coming across as continually focusing on the negative.
Watching the Olympics last night, I was interested in watching not only the athletes, but their coaches. I can guarantee that while they were pumping up their prodigies prior to their event, they were pointing out what could be improved upon next time after their performance or event was complete. The desire for continual improvement is a quality necessary in order to compete, but when does it become too much?
As much as Bode Miller can drive me nuts, I actually think he may have figured part of this out. After his silver medal-winning run, he took a moment before looking at the results. In an interview he explained that before he looked at the scoring, he went inside myself to see how it felt to him. Content with his run and that he did all that he could have done, he then looked to see he had missed gold by only 9/100’s of a second. And although disappointed, he really was ok, because he was secure with the answer within: he had done what he could and it was enough.
For the rest of the day I am going to look at my life through the lens of “good enough”. I’m going to dismiss the thoughts of needing to do/be more. I’ll learn to accept the beauty in myself and in that which is surrounding me. Maybe I’ll even learn to appreciate a gray winter day.
Tags: continual improvement, good enough, learning to accept yourself, perfection
February 20th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
There’s a saying out that goes “the perfect is often the enemy of the good.” Sounds like you’ve come to the same conclusion.
Sometimes it is important to do your very best. But lots of times, “good enough” really is “good enough.” There is a book that was reviewed by the NYT in the past week (sorry, can’t remember the title) in which the author’s thesis is that some women kill their chances for a good husband by waiting until they find the man of their dreams. Often, he never arrives because their dreams are up in the stratosphere. ‘Tis a shame because you don’t have to be perfect to be lovable. Actually, we tend to be more lovable when others know our weaknesses and vulnerabilities.
I sometime scandalize my students when I tell them I consider my wife to be more than adequate. Adequate would have been OK, but I hit the jackpot. The students tend to think that in a good marriage, the only words you would use to describe your spouse would be “fabulous,” “amazing,” “out-of-this-world” and the like. I feel sorry for them because if they stick to such superlatives as a standard, they’ll likely be very disappointed. No one excells all the time. To my way of thinking, if you do well most of the time and hit the heights every now and then, that’s more than adequate. Who could ask for anything more?
February 22nd, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Tony, as usual, you put it…well, I was going to say “perfectly”. Let’s say it was “good enough”.