free to be…
I had breakfast this morning with a friend and our conversation brought me back to an awareness I received last week in my writing class. I was taking a favorite workshop – one I’ve taken for several years – and found myself intimidated by the other participants. They were either more experienced, more professional, more creative, younger or older than me. You name it, they were better. As a result, my writing was pretty blah. It totally reflected my view of myself. It was after 2 days of this self-imposed misery that I decided enough was enough. After all, why was I there if not to be open to putting myself out there in order to learn and grow? And so I did – and my writing improved about 1000%. It was when I let go of the presumptions and was unafraid to be real that I found both freedom and the ability to reach others.
This is what my friend was pointing out to me as she described a workshop she’d recently attended. She noted that one panelist seemed to take the “safer” route and was stilted in her comments. The other panelist had been willing to put it all out there and my friend immediately felt a connection with her. So much so, that she went out and bought 3 of her books!
It’s an interesting paradox: I hold back in order to be received better because I am afraid what others will think and yet when I let go and release any worry about what someone else thinks, it brings others closer. Go figure!
Guess I need to keep working on it…