I hadn’t really given much thought to squirrels ever since that “squirrel wrangling” incident a few years back where we had to corral the little buggers that came down our chimney and into our living room for a little look-see.  You learn a lot about a person watching them deal with wild animals.  That’s all I’m saying….

My very enthusiastic pup, however, has quite an eye for our furry friends.   So as I was trying to keep her from dragging me after every one of them scurrying around the park, I thought I’d make productive use of this time and notice them.  Evidently they are not “one size fits all”, nor do they all behave the same way.  Some are overweight and frankly a bit lazy, while others are looking rather neurotic.  I saw one that was so thin and working furiously, digging to get or bury something.  I was imagining it as one of those overachievers, who also runs squirrel marathons, volunteers at the squirrel acorn kitchen and has a nest of little ones back home, all perfected coifed and well behaved.  I hated that one on sight.

So I started to imagine my clan as squirrels and how we’d be acting.  My middle son would be the one with the very cool fur, kicking around the acorns and chatting with all the cute squirrel girls.  If there is a squirrel Facebook, he’d also be on it.  My oldest son would have already found the best nest and would be in negotiations with the owner to take it over and planning the guest list for his housewarming party in the process.  My daughter – well, the only way you could tell her apart from the other squirrel teenagers, all with their straightened fur and squirrel Uggs (”Squggs” – and they cost more than just a couple acorns!) would be if she was with me.  I, of course, would have found the person who was handing out the food and would have figured out how to perform to get it.  When trying to share some of my booty with my daughter (the motherly thing to do, not that I’d want to give away any food, mind you…), she’d remind me that she’s allergic to nuts and go off to find a friend to hang with.  My fiance would be the squirrel chatting up all the other creatures in the woods.  If he fell down someone’s chimney, he’d probably find a way to chat with them as well.

The next time my dog starts chasing some poor squirrel up a tree, I’m going to have more sympathy for the poor thing.  It was probably just some Mom, trying to make it on her own, just like me.  Unless its that skinny one – then I’ll let probably let the dog have its fun.

In addition to my daily writing commitment, I’ve also commited to a daily meditation program.  And I must admit that both are going pretty well so far, although my meditation practice is more going well in consistency rather than in quality.  By that I mean that I am never quite sure what is going to happen when I finally sit down to quiet my mind.

I have had a couple of rare moments over the past years of attempted meditation practices where I truly felt like I had “gone” somewhere.  I have gained amazing insights  and been uplifted.  But most of the time I feel like I am sneaking in a quick nap.  Sometimes, like today for instance, it feels like I am at the movies.  I have some sort of scene playing out that I am watching.  Today’s was a drama with two women arguing with each other – a kind of Jerry Springer meets Jon Kabat.  Of course I can never remember the details when my “meditation” is done.

But right at the end of today’s adventure into another reality, I became aware of a voice repeating something over and over.  “Be there” was what it was saying.  Be where?  Why?  And what should I wear?  These are the key life questions that come to me in these moments.

As my dog is now frantically running up and down the stairs, trying to get my attention to PLEASE take her for a walk, I’m wondering if perhaps that voice was her doing a mind meld with me:  the park….be there….    Or maybe it was just my subconscious reminding me I actually do have somewhere to go today, regardless of my preference to stay curled up, cozy and “meditating” for a while longer.

Or maybe it was a cosmic invitation to my life.  Be there.   Hmmm….    Invitation accepted.

Just when i think I am out of things to write about, I get a package from my mom. Her note says she was sorting through papers and thought I might enjoy these.  Of course I assume it will be the usual assortment of comics pertaining to family and teenagers, an article from Dear Abby about some remotely relateable incident, or the ever present obituaries of past neighbors long forgotten.  Instead, out come four envelopes: one from the Congress of the US, one from the Vice President, one from the White House and one from the Office of the President of my alma mater.  She now has my attention.  Or more aptly, I am holding my breath.

You must know both my hometown and my mother to understand my sudden case of becoming unnerved.  I grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan – heartland of the USA.  A great place to raise a family.  Or as we called it as teens, “Bland Rapids”.  Our local Representative in Congress was Gerald Ford.  A very nice man – a trait frequently ascribed to persons of that region.  However, even if as a kid I was never impressed with him.  You’d just see him everywhere.  Big deal.  I even tried to ignore him once in 8th grade when my girlfriend and I were gathering “Nixon’s the One” campaign buttons for a class project and he was trying to chat with us.  There goes Jerry being Jerry!

OK, so you’ve got the picture on my surroundings.  My mom:  well, let’s just put it this way.  There was this kid in my class, Scott Stoll.  He was always getting in trouble.  One day he’s throwing sticks at me – a normal day, basically – and my mom sees him.  So she gets out of the car, goes over and grabs him and tells him she had better not see him EVER do that again.  He later confessed to me at a class reunion that he had wanted to ask me out in high school but was too afraid of my mom.  Yes, she was that powerful.

My mom also had that effect with other people and organizations.  She was not afraid to speak her mind and was a tireless writer to let companies know exactly how she felt.  To her credit, she wrote both letter of congratulations and letters of complaint.  But you always knew where you stood.    And evidently even the President of the United States had an idea on that as well.

The first envelope I opened was a hand signed letter from Jerry Ford (of course…boh-ring!) when he was in the House.  It was something about agreeing with her stance on the Democrats position on the Today show and agreeing with her that Agnew is “great”.  Sigh.

The next was from Jerry again, now VP.  Now what was that about Agnew?……   Anyway, this one was agreeing with her support for the President and that yes, he does deserve high commendation for his work.   An even deeper sigh.

Next was a form note from the President himself.  The honorable Richard Nixon.  Thanking her for her support of efforts towards peace in Vietnam.  What can I say?

But the last one….  This was a note from the President of the University I was attending as a freshman, thanking me for her nice note about me and that yes, he would look into that Geography professor.

WHAT?!

My mother was writing to the President of the University because I had some problem with a professor????   Isn’t there some statute of limitations regarding parental humiliation?

As I look at these envelopes now, it is a toss up which one is worse:  my mother supporting Agnew, my mother supporting Nixon, or my mother supporting me.  I guess Scott Stoll was smarter than I thought.

Have you googled yourself lately?  This question was asked at a workshop I attended this past weekend.  I have been known to Google myself in the past.  I remember the first time I actually appeared on the first search page – a big thrill!  The next milestone was when there were multiple hits for me. And then my challenge was to get more hits than the Janet Neal in Oklahoma who raises horses.  Sometimes it’s the little things that matter…

So last night, grateful there was no baseball game so that I could actually go to bed at a decent hour (in theory), I decided to do “one last thing” before turning in and googled myself.  There are now pages of me.  I guess that is kinda cool.  But it was also a bit disconcerting to find an article in More magazine in which I had been quoted – a YEAR ago!  I definately remember speaking with the columnist – I had been trying to get her to be a speaker at the Professional Women’s Center – and I remember looking for the article when she said it would appear, but never saw it and figured it never ran.  Surprise!  Evidently none of my friends or relatives saw it either and more importantly, my ex-husband, or I would definately have heard about it!  Let’s just say she caught me in a very honest moment…

All of this caused me to reflect on a few themes.  First, look how far I’ve come.  From a few years ago barely getting any notice to now being quoted in national publications – not too shabby.  Then I was thinking about the directions my life has taken, career and personally, and can see how each step has led to the next.  And lastly, I was considering this concept of being honest.

I have a houseguest now and we were talking last night about her most admired persons:  those who are consistently themselves and unafraid to show it regardless of the circumstances.  A few years ago that would have both a terrifying and foreign concept to me.  Show who you really are?  Horrors!  Even my writing reflected that:  factual and guarded.

And now I’m writing a blog.  Daily. Which is nothing more than a pouring out of my emotions and thoughts.  Yikes.  And to take it a step further, this is what I’d like to do more of – and expand upon it!  It amazes me how I can think on some level that nothing has changed until I can literally see it in black and white.  I have this vision that somewhere in a parallel universe there is that good Midwestern girl, who made sure she did whatever she thought you’d like, reading that More magazine article with very wide eyes.  And I know in her heart, she’s saying “Yes!  Finally!”

So I guess I am not writing 7 days/week.  oops.  I’ll still keep that intention and see how I can make it happen in the future…

Yesterday we went into the city to see Carrie Fisher in “Wishful Drinking”.  Very funny.  I think I may need to buy the book though as it was filled with witty comments and interesting fun facts that were zooming by me.  I probably caught half of them.  She describes her life in stories and from today’s perspective, it is all very funny.  As she notes, “Location.  Location.  Location.”  Much better when you ‘re not standing in it.

That made me think of another woman I know who has written several books, has an on-going column in a national magazine and has been on Oprah.  Basically she is living my dream.  But what I thinking about was that she has an interesting past as well – one that was not all pretty.  And as a matter of fact, probably EVERYONE on Oprah, including Oprah herself, has had some kind of lousy situation they have come through.  (Operant words here:  “come through”.)

I get so very caught up in my frustration du jour and can be dragged down by the slightest perceived negative experience.  The thought of “what is wrong with you?” pops up frequently.  In those moments I tend to see myself falling into a dark hole, unsure of how I am ever going to get out.

Now I can reflect on Carrie Fisher: the ultimate making lemonade out of life’s lemons.  I am grateful that I can now realize that although I may be in darkness, it is a tunnel, not a hole.  I just need to keep moving forward, even though I cannot see where I’m going, and know that eventually I will make it out the other side.    Maybe Oprah will be waiting for me there!

I had breakfast this morning with a friend and our conversation brought me back to an awareness I received last week in my writing class.   I was taking a favorite workshop – one I’ve taken for several years – and found myself intimidated by the other participants.  They were either more experienced, more professional, more creative, younger or older than me.  You name it, they were better.  As a result, my writing was pretty blah.  It totally reflected my view of myself.  It was after 2 days of this self-imposed misery that I decided enough was enough.  After all, why was I there if not to be open to putting myself out there in order to learn and grow?  And so I did – and my writing improved about 1000%.  It was when I let go of the presumptions and was unafraid to be real that I found both freedom and the ability to reach others.

This is what my friend was pointing out to me as she described a workshop she’d recently attended.  She noted that one panelist seemed to take the “safer” route and was stilted in her comments.  The other panelist had been willing to put it all out there and my friend immediately felt a connection with her.  So much so, that she went out and bought 3 of her books!

It’s an interesting paradox:  I hold back in order to be received better because I am afraid what others will think and yet when I let go and release any worry about what someone else thinks, it brings others closer.  Go figure!

Guess I need to keep working on it…

I saw this quote in the NY Times today: “It was just shocking. I had never seen anything so big.” STACEY ROSS, a corporate recruiter in Salt Lake City, who received 500 applicants for a single $13-an-hour job.”

It was very timely, as I had just finished an article on the best way to find a job.  It also confirmed my thesis that in light of the fact that there are too many people looking for jobs and too few of them to be had, the traditional methods are not going to cut it.  So, in light of this, I thought I’d just post what I wrote, which may be of value to a couple readers out there!

Just suppose you are one of the thousands of persons on the hunt for a new job.  Once the initial shock of finding yourself in a place not of your own choosing wears off, you realize you have to get to work.  You polish off your resume and send it to every headhunter that you know.  And you talk to friends and relatives and beg them for leads.  Lastly you consider going to a face-to-face event, and talk to as many people as possible, grabbing all the business cards you can and pleading your case to as many strangers, i.e. potential employers, as possible. 

This is a typical, but not effective strategy.  The rules of yesterday when looking for a job just do NOT apply to today’s market. For one thing, there are too many people looking and too few jobs.  The traditional channels are flooded with paper and the reality is, jobs are being secured through relationships. 

Here are some tips to help you work more effectively and be the one that gets noticed:

1)      Figure out what you want to do:  Get specific.  By saying “I can do anything in any industry” you have diluted yourself.  By getting specific about the position, industry and even company you desire, you focus your energy and make yourself a more attractive candidate.

2)      Resume:  Yes, polish it up and make it shine. Work with a professional to make sure you have key words and action verbs.  But DON’T lead with it!  Employers are consumed with paper.  You’ll need it in time – AFTER you’ve established the relationship!

3)      Use Social Networks:  LinkedIn is a fabulous free resource that will get you information on potential companies, industries, and people within them.  Take the time to understand the power of these tools and use them to navigate into the situation you desire.

4)      Get out in person!!!:  Attend as many networking functions as possible.  Approach people with an air of curiosity and ask them FIRST what they do.  Ask a lot of questions.  Find out how you can help them.  THEN allow the conversation turn to you.  People will remember those who take the time to listen to them and although they may not be a fit for your immediate job requirements, they may know someone who does.  Start by establishing the relationships!

5)      Follow up:  Nothing says “I am serious and should be taken seriously” more than a thorough and thoughtful follow-up.  Get notecards with your name on them and send a handwritten note.  Take notes on the back of collected business cards so you’ll remember what you talked about – and what you’d say you’d do.  And make sure you do what you said!

When you are looking for a job, your job is looking for one.  Make sure you approach it with the same level of enthusiasm, integrity and energy that you would apply to a new position.  Make your mission networking with a purpose and let the jobs come to you!

I am a huge baseball fan.  Goes back to my days in Michigan where my mom continually had Ernie Harwell on the transistor radio announcing the play by play of the Detroit Tigers.  My grandfather was a semi-pro player, a hall of fame high school coach, and even had an offer to play with the St. Louis Cardinals.  That’s a whole other story….  But let’s just say, baseball is in my blood.

I was a Tigers fan until I moved to Boston.  We lived so close to Fenway – in a time when you could just mosey over and get a good seat at the last minute for next to nothing- that my allegiances slowly shifted.  Then when I moved to NJ and started attending Yankees games…well, the writing was on the wall.  My very best baseball season was the 1998 season.  What a team!  There were no real superstars and yet they showed what determination and perseverance could really do.  I was hooked.

Which brings me to the present moment.  Or more precisely, last night.  I have been, of course, watching the American League playoff series and, of course, rooting for the Yankees.  But I have even more reason why I want them to win now:  that blond woman in the seats behind the plate!!!!  I cannot stand her and if the Angels won the playoffs (which of course they won’t… ), I would have to boycott the Series.

This is the thing:  if you are at a baseball game, WATCH THE GAME!  No, if you are at the PLAYOFFS, watch the game!!  Even better: if you have the best seats in the entire stadium, can chat with the players while they are in the batters box, AND are on national television every time someone is at bat, WATCH THE GAME!!!  This woman is constantly standing up, walking around, chatting with the others around her.  She is such a distraction that I am watching HER now instead of the players!  I have yet to see her actually sit and even notice where she is.

Which makes me think, there must be a metaphor in this.  Where am I so “busy” that I am missing what is going on around me?  My kids come to mind.  I have a ring-side seat to watching them grow up and yet I can be very distracted with everything else I “need” to do.  But even closer to home, there’s my life.  How many times do I “wake up” and wonder how so much time has flown by without my being aware of it?  How many lists do I have to make and check off before I give myself permission to be “at the game”?

So tomorrow, when the Yankees crush the Angels and clinch the pennant, I’ll look for the blond haired woman and say a silent “thank you” for the awareness she brought.  Then I’ll probably yell at the TV and tell her to sit down!

There is a very big part of me that wants to get a job.  I haven’t had “a job” since 2002.  A paycheck would be such a cool thing.  I remember taking my 2nd son out trick or treating the first year when he was about 2 or 3 and the look on his face when people just gave him candy was precious.  Like he couldn’t believe his luck.  That’s what getting paycheck would feel like to me.  I’ve done work for so long and not gotten paid that to actually get paid would be a real treat.  It would also be such a relief!

But then there’s that flexibility thing….  Like for instance, now.  I’m sitting in my pjs, writing.  Something I love to do.  And I’m really, really tired (damn this time of year and late night baseball games!) so I’m thinking I may go back to sleep for an hour and start all over again.  Somehow I don’t think I could do that and still get a paycheck.

Life is full of interesting choices to be made and it seems this growing up thing may be more difficult than I thought.   I’m going to go meditate…and probably sleep…. on it.

So, note to self:  If you vow to write in your blog everyday, make sure first that you are somewhere with internet coverage!!

Best of intentions….

The thing is, my life has been paved with really, really good intentions.  OK, a couple of manipulations thrown in along the way, but that was long ago…   But at this point in my life I am not so much concerned with what has been as with what will be.  I am in a transition – again – and am feeling some days as if I am firmly on a path, which then may erode away or become a dead end.  It is both exhilarating and frustrating.  And I am feeling that a way out of the bramble is through my writing.  So choosing not to write is really not an option for me – unless I wish to keep myself mired in this colossal quagmire.

At this point I think my audience consists of women in the Ukraine who are looking for husbands, or a good time, whichever comes first.  No worries.  At least I am following my heart.  And I truly believe that the light within will be the one to lead me onward.

Stay tuned…