I never take those ridiculous quizzes on Facebook.  In fact, I teach courses on Facebook where I advise people not to take them, as they are merely ploys for advertisers to gather your data and data about your friends.  So I never take them.  Except for the ones of value, or if I’m really bored.  And wouldn’t you know, there was a quiz on the Myers Briggs personality test just at the time I was a little bored.  Never say never.  

I have taken a plethora of personality tests in my day.  Generally by the time the test giver is handing me the packet they have already determined that I am an extrovert.  I guess I don’t hide that too well.  But lest I have may have changed in the last few days, I took the test anyway.  And sure enough, it came back with the same glaring result:  extrovert extraordinaire.    Shortly after taking it I was in a meeting where I heard someone explaining yet another way to determine if you are an extrovert or an introvert:  an extrovert will get energized being in a group whereas an introvert will feel drained by the same experience.  Working out of my home office for hours/days on end actually does have a draining effect on me, but get me in front of an audience for a presentation and I am ready to go!  No denying my personality type!  

With the personality type in mind, I have stumbled upon a good way to determine the state of being of your self-esteem.  We’ll call it the “Costanza Test”, based on the episode in Seinfeld where George Costanza did everything the opposite he normally would– and for him it had remarkably good results. With this test, you do the opposite of what you would normally do, based on your personality type.  So if you are an extrovert, you don’t talk to anyone.  If you are an introvert, you talk to a lot of people.  And then after about 24 hours, see how you feel.    

I did this social experiment when I went on a retreat and decided to be silent for 24 hours.  Not so easy to do when 1) everyone else is talking, 2) no one really knows what you are doing, and 3) you are an extrovert extraordinaire.  What happened was my realization that I didn’t know how to be silent in a group (Do you avoid eye contact?  Risk being considered rude?) and that I REALLY rely on the feedback of others to determine how I am doing.  In other words, on the Costanza Test scale of 1 being low self esteem and 10 being high, I was down around a 3.  Fortunately I had a couple of more days to work on that and by the time I left, I was back up to about an 8: still preferring to be around others and still liking the attention, but definitely not feeling the NEED to have it in order to feel good about myself.  I can only imagine the opposite would be true if I were an introvert:  that after being around others I would learn that I am (or can be) ok wherever I am.   Not that I can imagine being an introvert…  

Regardless of your personality type, what resides inside remains the true testament to your well-being.  An introvert can no more imagine loving standing up in front of crowd than I can imagine loving being alone for hours on end.  But how you feel inside when you are doing those things really makes the difference.  Take some time to recognize it and if need be, repair it.  Hey, maybe there’s a Facebook quiz to help you do that too…