It began innocently enough with the receipt of a beautiful email message which spoke gently of the power inherent in letting go. How lovely, I thought – and then saved it because you just never know when it might be of value to someone else I know. The “powers that be” must have split a gut laughing over that one! I get my life lessons presented to me not once, or even twice, but generally three times. I think a good part of the reason is that I am so busy I tend to ignore the first, take a slight interest in the second instance, and have no choice but to deal with the third. This time I must have been REALLY out of control because normally any one of them would have been an attention grabber. Evidently I needed all three this time to really do the trick. I believe that getting that email was no coincidence. My lesson at hand is learning to let go. I’m sitting in the airport right now, coming back from delivering my eldest to his college dorm to begin his college career. Now this is the child who since maybe day 2 of his life has been a totally independent spirit. He went off to summer camp at age 12 for month in the wilderness with no communication home. He’s traveled internationally by himself. He spent the last two years of high school 3000 miles away at a boarding school. So when the boxes were moved and suitcases unpacked and it was finally time for the goodbyes, I was shocked when the tears welled up in my eyes. Ok, they spilled over for a time as well. For all the goodbyes we’ve said, this one was different. It was saying goodbye to my little boy and watching him walk away as a young man. I’m getting all teary now just thinking about it. Letting go of him, allowing him to transition to this next exciting stage of his life is scary and yet reaffirming. Life is a series of these transitions and to hold one’s self or others back is to deny the full experience life has to give. Just imagine the experiences he’ll have as he steps into this new space. Actually, I’ll allow you to do that…there are some things a mother just shouldn’t imagine! So, that should be enough, right? Nah. I’m heading home to now say goodbye to my staff of the past year as I begin to shut down The Professional Women’s Center as we know it. Life, the economy, an idea ahead of its time…whatever the reason, the result is the same. As of October 31st, we are closing our doors. This decision to let go was fraught with copious amounts of anxiety, hours of soul-searching and numerous attempts at self-deception. Ultimately it was when I was able to truly release any ego woven into a possible outcome that I was able to secure my answer and, thankfully, serenity about the decision. The lesson was really a full circle one: when I let go, just as I had when I started the process, things were able to flow and life got a whole lot easier. Getting out of my way seems to be a big lesson in letting go for me. And lastly, just to complete the trifecta, I’ve put my home of the last 15 years on the market. This is the house I’ve said I would never leave merely because I have too much junk to move. I have learned there was absolute truth in that tongue in cheek statement. Again, I thought I was good with this – until I had to start getting rid of old toys and mementos from the “good old days”. I’ve realized how much of my life is woven into the fabric of this dwelling, not to mention the fact that it’s the only home that 2 of my 3 kids have ever known. To learn that our “home” is really wherever we go, that things are merely reminders of memories but the memories are always within, and that we don’t need so much STUFF to be happy…these are lessons that are only beginning to be experienced and appreciated. Letting go of one thing/thought/belief seems to start the unraveling of so many more. And each knot that is loosened brings a little more breathing room and the space to grow in new and unknown directions. I guess I’m grateful I’m so pig-headed that I need all this evidence to get the message. I certainly would not have had this fire-hose of experience if I’d listened to that whisper of an email message. I’m actually excited now for the first time in a long time about what may lay around the corner. I’ve come to realize that you can’t embrace what life has to give you if you’re clenching on to past. I’m ready to go forward into life with open hands, an open heart…and a much cleaner house!
